represents the blog post talking about whether or not to retire.

On a serious note…

In this “60s and Living” blog, I try to keep the subject matter relevant and light-hearted whenever I can. But if I’m to be honest, our 60s are not immune to stress, worry and anxiety any more than any other decade in our lives has been. To ignore this fact is to do all of us a great dis-service.

In our 60s, we are likely watching our children be adults. Hopefully, we’re a part of their lives. The joy of being grandparents is dawning, and the fun of watching our children grow into the adults they’re becoming can be wonderful.

What if your child is struggling, stumbling, or flat-out failing at life? It’s tough to watch. It’s hard not to ask ourselves, “Where did I go wrong?” We want to step in and help, but we can’t (if you’ve ever tried to course-correct an adult child, you know this is true). 

Whether your child is struggling with managing the responsibilities of adulthood, experiencing angst with a spouse or significant other, agonizing over the heartbreak of infertility, worrying about their career, struggling with substance abuse, or in one of a thousand battles, the cruel truth of the matter is that we cannot “fix it” for them. 

For me, this is by far the hardest phase of parenting. My desire to make everything right and good for our children, makes me yearn to still be “Mommy” to them. I find it very hard to sit by and watch painful or difficult events unfold in their lives, feeling useless, like I’m sitting on my hands.

My husband and I have experienced this very thing; in fact, we are living with it right now. We’ve tried to fix things. We’ve tried to advise. We’ve tried to counsel. At the end of the day, we must trust that we have given our children the tools that they need to navigate life. 

What, then, to do? In our experience, we’ve learned to always make it known that we are here. We make it known that we love our children and always will. We make it known that it’s never too late, that nothing is forever, and that “this too shall pass.” The truth of the matter is that these concepts are not at all cliché or trite. They are truths that often come only with age and with experience.

Do you have an adult child who is struggling? I often see, in this generation, a fear or a reluctance to face problems that naturally come with adulthood and with life. Maybe that’s our fault, though I was always told that I was a strict mom, a mom who expected our children to put in the work and to handle the consequences of their actions. I think society and higher education have taught our children that they are somehow owed whatever it takes to make life easy and problem-free. What they have to learn is that life is never either easy, nor is it going to be problem-free. 

More importantly, young adults must learn how to deal with life when it gets hard, and that means learning to walk on their own two legs, no hand-holding. We can walk alongside, but we have no choice but to stay in our lane. If we can’t do that, we cripple them and deny them the confidence that life inevitably demands.

Hang in there, Mom. Nothing is forever.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *